10 BEHAVIORS THAT MAKES YOU LOSE CONFIDENCE

At some point in our lives—whether knowingly to us or not—we all have had times when something seems to skyrocket our confidence and then we feel totally in control of whatever situation we’re faced with, knowing exactly what to do, how to do and when to do it, and we won’t hesitate to do so because we’re so confident about doing it, isn’t that so?

Whereas there are other times when we feel so lost in the game of life, not been able to do the needful (even when we know what to do), and not doing eventually makes us feel like a total wimp.

Hasn’t it crossed your mind once (or probably things refuse to cross your mind) to ask why both scenarios occur and at different times in your life? Do you think it’s ok to have wimpy moments in our lives even with all the confidence that we claim to have built-in ourselves so far?

Well for me, I do think that it’s ok and normal to have a few scenarios of wimpy times, but much more predominant moments of dynamic self-confidence.

Just so you know, you don’t just lose confidence because you’re careless (or because confidence has had it enough with you), rather there seem to be some counteractive things that don’t necessarily align with confidence, and when such things come or arise, confidence just has to “get lost” or go find some hiding place, because it does not want to be seen wrestling with such things, you know.

Confidence is that thing that gives you the guts and chutzpah to say or do whatever it is that you wanna do without allowing timidity, anxiety, fear or any other external forces to get the best of you.

Confidence gives you the zeal to own up to your own mistakes and failures. So as a result, you don’t feel inferiorly below anyone or anything because you’re so confident in what you do that people’s words don’t even affect you.

Remember I said earlier that some things make you lose confidence. Those things come in different ranges and also comes with their adverse effect. Most of these things are behaviours that you often exhibit; while some has utterly become a habit to you, others seem to be your state of mind, your values and your beliefs system.

In this article, we’re going to be having a brief look at 10 of those behaviours that always prevents you to own up to yourself and take responsibility for your life. By identifying and addressing such behaviours in you, the confidence you think you’ve lost will come right back into your life.

1. LACKING IN SELF-LOVE, SELF-WORTH AND SELF-ESTEEM

Though these 3 words are spelt differently, there are often used interchangeably to refer to how one ultimately think about his/her self—without allowing people’s opinion to matter.

When you lack self-love, self-worth and self-esteem, you’ll not only lose confidence in yourself, but you might as well not value the unique being that you are.

Believe me when I say: confidence cannot strive (or even survive) in an environment of no self-love, no self-worth and relatively low self-esteem. so in this light, to build up confidence within you, you’ve got to start loving yourself, seeing yourself as worthy and thinking highly of yourself—which of course is high self-esteem.

Recommended: 3 REASONS BEHIND A LOW SELF-ESTEEM

2. COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS

Do you know another behaviour that makes you lose confidence? It is no other than comparison. Without denial, we all have somehow compared ourselves (either our failures, successes or even physique) to others without giving it a second thought that we’re different from them.

The comparison makes you look at yourself as stupid and worthless, especially when the comparison is coming from a negative angle. Here’s what you should probably consider doing if at all you love to compare: COMPARE YOURSELF WITH YOURSELF! That’s what can make you gain more confidence to work on yourself.

Recommended: 8 negative effects comparison has on you and your relationship

3. GETTING INTIMIDATED BY OTHERS

Feelings of intimidation can prevent you from doing so many things that you ought to be doing, and this occurs as a result of losing confidence in yourself. Because the moment you are intimidated by other people’s deeds and actions, you wouldn’t be confident enough to get your deeds or actions going, for you don’t even dare to get it to happen in the first place.

Getting feelings of intimidation reduces your thinking faculty, preventing it from coming up with great ideas for you. For this reason, never let what other people say or do, make you feel intimidated, even if you feel so, use it in your favour.

4. YOU’VE FORMED THE BAD HABIT OF PROCRASTINATING INCESSANTLY

As you already know, procrastination is a terrible habit to develop. It not only reduces your confidence but also, leads to a great amount of unproductiveness.

How do you think your mind takes it when you’ve set it to get a particular task done at a slated time, and then, you end up putting it off, not once, not twice, but rather, countless times? You may do it probably because you’re “feeling” for yourself, but your mind is getting the damages of your action. If you really wanna build up a little confidence, then start getting those tasks done at about the exact time you appointed for it.

Recommended: 6 PRACTICAL WAYS TO GET RID OF PROCRASTINATION—FOR GOOD!

5. YOU PORTRAY THE BEHAVIOR OF A PERFECTIONIST

Show me a perfectionist, and I’ll show you a person with little or no self-confidence. There is nothing that kills confidence faster than the act of perfectionism. It may seem like a nice word to use or apply, but it’s not!

Perfectionism is a belief or behaviour of not wanting to do something until a perfect time or a perfect scenario arrives. And we both know that there is nothing like a “perfect time or scenario”, you either get it done now or get it “lost”. This single behaviour might be the reason you’ve never be so confident in what you do because a perfectionist is always waiting for the perfect whatever before he can act. You know how it all plays out, he’ll keep waiting till he’ll have to wait no more.

Recommended: 4 key ways to living with your imperfections

6. FEAR OF LOSING CONFIDENCE

If you’re so afraid of losing confidence, then you probably don’t have any, rather what you have is fear, and it seems that you’re afraid of fear, yeah that’s right, you are!

Fear is a state of mind and equally an illusion. It is present in every human, but making it actionable or active is what causes ruin—seen or unseen.

If your fear is losing your confidence, then you don’t have that confidence that you’re so afraid of losing, because confident people have no such fear, they just don’t do things that will make them lose it.

Recommended: OVERCOMING YOUR FEARS | 6 EFFECTIVE WAYS

7. KEEPING COMPANY OF NO SELF-CONFIDENCE

The type of company we keep often determines to a large extent the type of decision we make. Whether you agree to it or not, your friends often influence a major part of your life, either positively or on the negative side.

So now, just imagine having a bunch of friends who lack confidence in themselves. You wouldn’t be left out of this, because they will always be there to talk you down when you come up with great ideas that you wanna try out. They will only point out the negative part of it because they don’t even believe in themselves, not to talk of believing in you.

8. YOU ONLY SEE THE PESSIMISTIC SIDE OF THINGS

If you’re a habitual pessimist, then it is part of the reason you lack confidence. Pessimists always see the bad and negative side of life, never the bright side.

If you want to work on your lack of confidence, then you have to be a little optimistic in your approach to things. You will not get anywhere by keeping a pessimistic mindset, because you’ll always feel that such things are bad, and should be avoided. Learn to build your mind to the extent where all you see is positivity, and see how your confidence will build up too.

9. YOU DON’T OFTEN CELEBRATE YOUR LITTLE SUCCESSES

There is this behaviour we often portray when it comes to success. We’re only likely to regard and reckon with those big successes we achieve, and never take note of the little ones that accumulated to yield the bigger ones, forgetting that it’s the little ones that made the larger ones possible.

Recognizing and celebrating those little things that yield success have a way of boosting confidence in you because it’ll make your feel mind feel “proud” and capable.

Don’t always ignore your little successes, it might be little but it sure ain’t insignificant. Make yourself know that you appreciate its every effort towards such successes.

10. YOU OFTEN WAIT FOR THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITIES TO TAKE ACTION

First of all, it is not so bad that you often wanna take on the right opportunities, but then the moment of waiting is what causes harm. You can’t just sit around waiting for opportunities to come your way, when for a fact you might not even have the courage to take on it when it eventually comes (or probably you might not even recognize it when it comes).

What do you do then? Ok here’s it. While waiting for the right opportunities to come by, don’t just tarry and linger around, engage yourself in meaningful activities that can build a kind of confidence in you in the long run.

Thanks for reading. Kindly leave your comments below and don’t forget to share. 

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