15 easy ways to spot a player boyfriend

So you are new to the dating scene, maybe you’ve been in a relationship for a while or you are a young girl in high school or college. This article will help save you from a lot of tears and possibly heartbreaks.

Are you about to fall for a guy who looks all perfect and you want to know if he is a player or not? Or you’ve been in a relationship for a while but need to find out if you are dating a player? Then read along.

Love is a beautiful thing and when in it is very difficult to exit. For this reason, many people take their time to fight to fall in love till they are sure they are falling for the right person and the love will be reciprocated.

Men often have the tendency of using girls just to satisfy their sexual needs and this end up breaking so many good girls.

If you about falling for a guy or if you’ve been in a relationship for a while, these are some of the numerous ways to spot a player.

Recommended: How to Protect Yourself From Another Short-Term Relationship: 5 Simple Tips

1. He comes on too strong

Let’s say you meet a guy at the grocery store and he walks up to you and says “hey beautiful, can I have your number” or whatever.

That’s fine, but if this guy is too overconfident and he starts calling sexy, hottie and all that, then he is a player.

Those are the words he has practised and know that it works on women. So he is going to call you sexy, hottie, a goddess and all of that.

A real man will call you beautiful. They will make an effort to say your name. They won’t call you sexy, and hottie all the time because all of those words are sexually related.

Most times, those playboys don’t want to bother learning your name because they talk to so many women and don’t want to stand the risk of calling you another woman’s name.

Stay away from those kinds of guys. They are players, playboys, f boys as the case may be.

2. They say “I love you too quick”

You’re just talking to this guy, maybe for a week or thereabout and they say they love you. That’s the mark of a playboy.

You don’t love someone until you know their ins and out, their family, what makes them happy, what makes them sad, you’re able to take them on their sad days and happy days and you are able to go through some stuff with them etc.

Just experience life with them. I’m not saying it has to be 5 years before you get to tell someone you love them. If a guy is already telling you he loves you and you have talked for just two or three days, then he is a playboy.

Again, these boys have practised these words and know that it works on people. They will tell you they love you because they know everybody wants to be loved.

They will tell you that so that they can hook you and by the time you know it, you’ll be telling them you love them too.

The next thing you know, they disappear and they are out and your heart will chatter.

A real man will save that “I love you” for a special moment. Although it is possible for someone to love you for that short amount of time, those words are so important to them that they will wait for that special moment to tell it to you.

So, “I love you” too fast, those are the words of a playboy.

Recommended: 5 steps to get over someone who doesn’t love you

3. He doesn’t see you if sex isn’t possible

Players are all about the sex and manipulating you into having sex, so if he sees a situation where logistically, he knows he can’t have sex with you, he’s likely to flake on it.

Always observe starting from today. If he always finds a way to postpone an appointment just because he knows sex is impossible, then the guy is a player.

4. He guards his phone like a dog guards a bone

So a player’s hub is his phone. It’s where he organizes all his women and where he keeps contact with things going on so that he can keep them all on the rail.

If he’s overly protective of his phone, it’s a strong sign a guy is a player.

He will do everything possible for you not to come across his contact with other girls.

5. You’ve never been out of the house with him

So this applies especially during the day, a player doesn’t want to risk being seen around public with you. Especially when there are going to be so many other people that know him around his hometown and know what he’s about.

He’s going to cancel dates to invite you to his house instead or maybe he just always wants to hang out at yours. It’s very unlikely if a guy’s a player, he’s going to take you out during the day.

He will make you feel he is not an outdoor person. Meanwhile, he just doesn’t want to spoil his chances of getting other girls.

6. You’re really, really turned on by him

So of course it’s great to be turned on by the guys you’re dating and if you’re not seeing any of the other signs in this list, then this one doesn’t matter.

When we’re really turned on by someone, you can rather clear that judgment relating to that person.

So, if you’re seeing other signs in the list here as well and you’re really sexually turned on by this guy, it’s a strong sign that the guy’s a player.

7. He makes plans he doesn’t follow through on

So, unlike a guy that’s straight out using you, a player might actually make some future plans, they won’t be long term extended future plans but he’s likely to tell you what you want to hear and you guys are going to see each other in the next week or two.

The problem is, he never follows through. He’s smooth and charming as to his reasons why but there’s always some reason that those plans he made don’t end up happening.

If a guy’s making plans consistently and not following through on them in the future with you, it’s really a strong sign that he’s a player and you are just a game.

8. He acts jealous but doesn’t give you his all

He acts jealous when he sees you with other guys. Even when you are with his friends, he jokingly acts jealous.

However, he won’t invest most of his time in you when all these guys are not around. This is a strong sign that he’s a player.

9. He gets caught off guard when he runs into you unexpectedly

So, players like to manipulate, they like to manage, they’d like to have all their chess pieces in the right place.

So, if he runs into you in public when he wasn’t expecting to, he gets caught off guard. That wasn’t exactly part of his game plan.

It shows he’s not really thrilled to see you. So, if he’s acting weird when he runs into you unexpectedly, it’s a really strong sign, that guy’s a player.

10. He’s smooth as fuck when he’s with you and distant when he is not

Players will make you feel like a million dollars when you’re with them. They turn you on, they make you want to jump on them, they say all the right things etc.

But when he’s not with you, it’s a different story. He doesn’t get back to you properly, he cancels or changes plans or he’s just inconsistent and it takes your intuition that something isn’t right.

If he’s the super smooth man when he’s with you but none of that is consistently held up when he’s not, is a really strong sign that your guy’s a player.

11. He’s going to call you at the last minute for a date

The reason why they do that is that you’re just an option to him. When they have exhausted the other options, they are going to call you at the last minute for a date.

He’ll be like “what you doing now, I am coming to pick you up and take you for a date”. This is clearly a sign that you are just an option.

Usually, when a man is serious with you, he’s going to make plans with you and let you know in advance. It might be Tuesday and he’ll say “what are you doing on Saturday, I want to take you out”.

However, some players might plan dates too. They can be very smooth. So, because a man is planning dates and doing all that doesn’t mean you should fall for him. You want to see the consistency.

Now, on the other hand, you may have some players who may not like to take you out to date as mentioned in point 3.

Their idea of a date is for you to go to their place, or them coming to your place because there are so many women in their lives, and they try to hide you, they don’t want anybody to see you, they don’t want to spend any money on you, they just want to hit it.

Ladies, it’s good you don’t start any date with a man by going to his place or letting him come to your place. Let him take you out.

When a man tries to get you to his place, trust me, he wants to have sex with you.

When a man is serious about you, he will want to take his time and date you, call you, get to know you, before inviting you to his place.

I’m not saying if he does all these things, he is the right one. However, doing these things are positive signs. You still have to have your guards up.

12. He’s going to be emotionally unavailable

He will do stuff, take you out and everything because some players are very smooth, knows the right things and does the right things.

However, they will be emotionally unavailable. When someone is emotionally unavailable, you see signs like them not paying attention when you are talking to them.

You’ll want to look at their eye contact and you see them looking around, not focusing on you when discussing something important.

Also, their response is so poor. He doesn’t care about how you feel, he doesn’t care about how your day went. He just wants you to be available when he wants you to.

13. They don’t like to spend quality time with you

When a man is serious about you, he will want to be talking to you on the phone, always want to make time to be around you and spend quality time with you.

It will not be something that you will have to force. However, players will not want to spend quality time with you, they don’t want to make time for you, they always give excuses when it doesn’t involve you getting laid.

14. Inconsistency

They will start at being good, nice etc. Once they see you have your guard up, and they find out you are not going to be easy, you start seeing inconsistency.

They’ll be all nice today thinking you will fall for them, and if you don’t you’ll be left all alone for some time. These things will be repeated.

This is a sign that they are not totally into you. They just want to try their chances every once in a while till they can get you to their bedroom.

15. He has no goals

Another great sign a boy is a player is if he has no goals.

If he’s sitting there and you are at work or at school or doing something to better yourself and you keep constantly getting a text message from this guy saying “what are you doing”, then, he is a playboy.

A real man, Monday to Friday is at work or busy at a certain time of the day or night. He’s building his future, so he doesn’t have time to sit all day just to know what you are doing.

Some young girls think that if a guy texts you back and forth all day, then he is really into you. That’s not true. He has no life and his only entertainment at that moment is you.

Stay away from guys like that. A real man text you like “Hey good morning, what’s your day going to be like today”. You tell them that “Hey, I am going to school or I am going to work”, and they’ll be like “Ok, have a beautiful day and I’ll text you when I get home”.

Also, when they say they’ll text you, they’ll text you.

However, a playboy will always have time to text you all day.

Conclusion

Those are the signs I can remember. Remember, everybody is unique in their own way and you don’t have to force yourself on any guy.

There is a guy out there for every woman.  You don’t have to sit and tolerate rude and bad behaviours from a guy because he is cute and you like him.

Remember, you are a diamond in the sky and the right person will find you. Also, you don’t have to look for them, trust me they will find you.

Stay away from these playboys. They might show you a good time for one or two days and then crush your heart and in the next month or two you will sit there and you won’t even know what hit you.

 

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