SIGNS YOU ARE NOT A NARCISSIST

After coming to the realization of what it means to be a narcissist you might begin to ponder if you are actually a narcissist or even point fingers.

This often happens because at some point or the other we have all expressed one or two of these narcissistic traits and then it leaves us wondering.

Am I a narcissist? Could my boyfriend or girlfriend be a narcissist? Is my best friend a narcissist? or are my parents’ narcissists?

(The irony of this is, most times a true narcissist would think of pointing fingers first before even thinking if they actually could be).

It’s (hopefully) not a question most of us ask ourselves. But being in a toxic relationship can actually make you wonder even more.

Toxicity can play such havoc with your emotions and psyche you lose sight of who you are. It can make you behave strangely — even worse, turning you into someone you barely recognise.

It could seem as though all narcissistic traits are downright toxic. Yes!  most definitely are if indeed its narcissism.

But very few a  time some of these narcissistic traits are simply healthy indications of confidence and not total narcissism.

You’ve probably read the article saying “we all have narcissistic traits” and have taken a gazillion quizzes, but you still can’t tell for sure

 

5 SIGNS YOU ARE ACTUALLY NOT A NARCISSIST

1. Narcissists don’t sit around wondering if they’re a narcissist

‘Could I be a narcissist?’ ‘How do I know I’m not the narcissist’ – these questions means you are concerned you might be.

My point lies in the word ‘concerned’. Narcissists don’t sit around concerned about this.

They don’t wonder if they’ve hurt people. They’re not self-reflecting on ways to be better friends, parents or partners etc.

As far as they’re concerned they are always right and nothing is wrong with them. This is the primary determinant of whether or not you’re a narcissist.

 

2. You don’t feel you are always right

“I know best”

This goes in line with point number one. Narcissists are often rigid people who know how to be flexible only when it suits their course.

99% of the time if not 100% they think they are always right and so it poses very difficult to even correct them.

Narcissistic listening dismisses, negates, ignores, minimizes, denigrates, or otherwise renders irrelevant other people’s concerns and comments.

A tone of contempt is a particularly strong narcissistic indicator.

Most of them are know-it-alls and have a hard time getting along with others because they refuse to believe they could possibly be wrong about anything. They have a  sense of superiority and often times don’t realize it.

 

3. Trauma bond

Another sign that you’re not the narcissist is that you are experiencing a trauma bond.

Narcissists do not experience or develop trauma bonds. Only their victims and targets usually do.

They don’t attach too strongly to people emotionally.  Their ‘attachments’ look completely different than ours.

 

4. You care about the opinions of others about yourself

If the opinions of others about certain traits of yours often bothers you then you are most likely not a narcissist.

For a narcissist, it is all about them. Their problem isn’t their problem but rather your own problem is their problem.

To them, there is always a reason behind everything so your opinion about them doesn’t even matter much and they aren’t bothered.

 

5. You are Experiencing Symptoms of PTSD or C- PTSD

If you don’t know what those acronyms stand for, PTSD stands for post-traumatic stress disorder and C-PTSD is a complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

We find out they’ve cheated again. We find out they’ve lied again. We find out they never left their ex that we kept asking about. We find out they got a loan in our name etc.

These repeated traumas have a very real effect on our psyches and on our physical bodies. So, if you are experiencing PTSD or C-PTSD, you are not a narcissist.

Narcissists are not or are hardly ever traumatized by relationships, only their targets are….the people they’re abusing.

This doesn’t even touch on the verbal abuse, the verbal assaults, the verbal Holocaust that we have to endure in these relationships.

 

In conclusion, there are millions of people writing and talking about narcissism. This includes the narcissistic people themselves.

So it would not be surprising to find a narcissist accusing you of being the Narcissist.

If they come out throwing out different things that you’re doing that “prove” you’re a narcissist.

Well, it’s most likely not possible if you are experiencing some of the symptoms above.

 

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See also: 12 CLEAR SIGNS YOU ARE A NARCISSIST