SIGNS YOU ARE A NARCISSIST

Narcissism is a distinct personality disorder, characterised by an extreme self- centredness coupled with the lack of empathy for other people, and a strong need for admiration.

With this little definition, you might begin to wonder ‘Am I a narcissist?‘ Or you could jump to a conclusion that you are with little or no knowledge when you might not even be.

Well, narcissistic personality disorder, like any personality disorder, is not black and white so there are risks in rushing to a diagnosis.

But in order not to be in doubts or ponder too much. Here are some key characteristics of a downright narcissist.

 

12  KEY CHARACTERISTICS OF A NARCISSIST

1. Lack of Empathy

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s about feeling and being there with someone – even if you haven’t been through exactly what they are going through.

Narcissists lack this and that’s why they sometimes come off as cold and are very quick to demean, intimidate, bully, belittle and criticize others without wondering much how that would make you feel.

But you do not dare criticize or do any of those to them. The narrative would become different. Their blatant lack of empathy for others is probably the most well-known symptom of this disorder.

 

2. Controlling

Most narcissists are very controlling and like when things only go their way. Just the way they hate to talk about their feelings, they can’t stand to be at the mercy of other people’s preferences.

This willingness to control people and ruthlessness in getting their needs met is what makes them so difficult to hang around with or even date because they would hardly compromise

 

3. All-knowing

They think everyone else is stupid. To them, their opinion is always the best. They refuse to believe they could be wrong at anything.

As far as they are concerned 99% of the time they are always right in which case ain’t true. This makes them close to suggestions and also makes it difficult to correct them.

 

4. Superiority

Burgo has observed that these narcissists walk around with a marked sense of superiority to others and have a “my way or the highway” approach to decision-making.

They generally believe they are superior to others and are entitled to special treatment because they feel they are very Special.

They exhibit a pervading pattern of grandiosity sometimes in their behaviour, and other times just in fantasies of success and power.

They often hype themselves. What they sometimes don’t know is they often see themselves far more than the way others actually see them.

 

5. Put others down

Alongside their straight-up abusive nature(be it high key or lowkey), narcissists are people who derive joy in putting others down.

Your weakness is their strength and they never fail to seize such an opportunity when it arises.

Sometimes it could be disguised as a joke, other times it could ve disguised as ‘you know I’m blunt, I’m just telling you the truth’.

Narcist would want to make u feel less of yourself even when they know you are great at what you do but they just can’t accept it completely.

It’s like being a great guitarist and you hear them make comments like ‘you are good but then that the only thing you’re good at’.

They intentionally do this in order to maintain a high positive image of themselves.

 

6. Self-Centred

Everything is all about them!  They know how to easily turntables around making it all about them and could even come off with a line like ‘Everything isn’t all about you’.

Narcissists are self-absorbed people who are excessively concerned about themselves and their own needs more than any other. They only do what’s best for them.

You can also call them egocentric even though amidst these, they actually have a very fragile Ego. Some of these signs are shown in their defensive, imposing, insecure and opinionated nature.

 

7. Need constant approval and Acknowledgement

It’s no secret that most narcissists revel in admiration and validation (except for ‘closet narcissists’).

They depend on constant approval to maintain their sense of intrinsic worth. They always want to be acknowledged.

To achieve this goal, they absorb (or steal) the energy of other people to feel good about themselves just like I mentioned above.

 

8. Attention seekers

In as much as we all love attention, well these set of people may love it a little more. For Narcissists seeking admiration and attention is like a drug.

They can’t stand when no one is paying attention to them. They don’t know how to feel important or special if they aren’t the centre of the universe or consuming someone’s thoughts.

They always want to be in the spotlight. Even if it might be negative. Narcissists don’t seem to mind the negative attention because negative attention also fuels their narcissistic fire.

The negativity is still attention, and any form of attention gives them the incentive to keep going. Indifference is more of an issue than hatred for a narcissists

 

9. Argumentative

Psychologists found in a study that subjects who scored higher in narcissism are very argumentative and tend to curse more than their modest counterparts.

Everything always turns out to be an argument for a narcissist even when you aren’t arguing because they are so defensive.

They could probably always feel you are out to attack them when you try to straighten something out and more so they are very opinionated.

They most often can’t tolerate the ideas that other people may know more than them and this could make them argumentative.

 

10. Emotionally detached

Due to their fragile emotions, they are often emotionally detached. Reasons why they hardly go through a trauma bond. Their attachment sometimes takes a different pattern.

They are the ones that can easily move on from a past relationship. The emotional detachment is probably like a defence mechanism from getting hurt.

Amidst their grandiosity and seemingly awesomeness, they do not actually love themselves as they pose to(which I believe means that they are incapable of truly loving anyone else).

Feeling an emotion challenges their sense of perfect autonomy, As a result, narcissists tend to change the topic of conversation when feelings come up — especially their own.

 

11. Complain about others

You would most likely hear narcissists complain about others more often than not. That’s because single wrongdoing often results in lifetime resentment.

One mistake could aswell tarnish an entire reputation. It is part of the reasons they do not have many friends. Their only friends are other people who validate their narcissism.

They obviously struggle to get along with anyone who doesn’t fit into their falsified worldview. They can’t stand to be challenged.

 

12. Always feels Entitled

Narcissists always have a sense of entitlement. They would often be engulfed with the feeling of they deserve it before considering being grateful.

Of course knowing that you deserve isn’t wrong but they have this constant feeling of entitlement.  The kind of people that Burgo calls “grandiose” narcissists always hold a grievance against the world.

Those with narcissistic behaviour will typically feel entitled to something better and think they’re not getting the recognition they deserve from others. If you’re not grandiose, then you’re introverted, hypersensitive, and defensive.

 

Note

Psychologists claim there are “two faces of narcissism.” On one end there’s the hyper-aggressive, super-loud type.

But there’s a softer form of narcissism, too. It’s called “covert narcissism,” which is denoted by introversion, hypersensitivity, defensiveness, and anxiety.

“Both shades of narcissism shared a common core of conceit, arrogance, and the tendency to give in to one’s own needs and disregard others”.

 

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See also: 5 CLEAR SIGNS YOU ARE NOT A NARCISSIST