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10 GLARING SIGNS YOU ARE DATING A NARCISSIST
Hi guys, today on narcissistic personality syndrome, we would be looking at some signs that indicate you might be dating a narcissist.
The question ‘could my girlfriend or boyfriend actually be a narcissist?’ is obviously not a surprising one.
When you take out time to read broadly about narcissistic personality syndrome, these questions would probably pop up.
It might not necessarily be your partner but a friend of yours or even yourself. You might begin to ask ” am I a narcissist? ”
Well, just like I said in my last article –signs you are not a narcissist, if you are worried and questioning yourself, the chances are that you might not be.
But that doesn’t apply much when you are questioning your partner. In as much as you could be right, you could also be wrong.
Could you be dealing with a narcissist? The best way to know for sure is to determine if you could have what is called Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.
Like many people who’ve endured narcissistic and emotional abuse, you probably didn’t realize what was happening to you.
Not until you were nearly driven crazy and desperately searching for reasons why your fairytale relationship took a grievous turn for the worse.
Well just in case you are wondering, well here are some obvious signs that may indicate you are in love with a narcissist even though it might not always be 100% correct.
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You always feel gaslighted
Gaslighting is a sneaky form of emotional abuse where they manipulate you and end up making you question your thoughts, memories, and perception.
You find yourself always second-guessing yourself. You always end up feeling like you are wrong about something even when you aren’t. They could do these using facts or emotions, whichever suits them.
They can use different tactics based on how they come across to others. In certain situations, someone might deliberately gaslight their partner as a way of controlling them.
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Always wants to change something about you
You begin to feel like they want to change nearly everything about you or are never satisfied with you.
The salvation of the relationship always lies on the distant horizon and is entirely dependent upon your changing something about yourself.
Which is impossible to do (in spite of frantic efforts on your part) because the person you care about constantly changes the goalposts.
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You almost always feel alone
Down to the core of your soul. While the narcissist may be living with you, eating with you and sleeping beside you in bed, you’ve never felt such stark loneliness.
They can be there but yet you feel so distant. You could be going through stuff and it’s as though they could care less making you feel so lonely.
You often find yourself curled in the fetal position, envisioning someone coming to put their arms around you to help relieve your feelings of isolation.
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Apologising is a problem
Apologising is always a problem for a narcissist because they never see anything wrong in their actions. Even when they do say sorry, you can always feel the grumpiness in their apology.
Rather than “I’m sorry for making you feel so alone” you would most likely hear “I’m sorry if that’s how you felt” This is just amongst the other common things that narcissists say.
Apologising is like accepting defeat or saying ‘I’m wrong’ which might not always be the case but that’s how it seems to them and we know narcissists hate this.
Recommended: 16 THINGS NARCISSISTS HATE A LOT
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You begin to feel you are too sensitive
As we know narcissists are often the masters of criticisms that they wouldn’t like. They are good at mocking people with their insecurities.
When in reality they just really want to put you down and when you eventually feel bad or react to these things, they could come up with the ‘you are too sensitive’ line.
They would do this a lot and keep disguising it as a joke until you begin to actually feel like you are really too sensitive. This is often part of their gaslighting strategy.
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You feel unheard and Sometimes stupid
If communicating with them leaves you feeling unheard, unstable, and frustrated, it’s because they don’t care about you, much less what you have to say.
Normally you are supposed to be happy to run to your partner to tell them whatever. But soon you begin to get sceptical because you might end up feeling stupid.
They can be great vibe killers except they are the ones talking. Often times you just feel like they are not really paying attention to you or even interested in what you are saying.
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Always try to bring down your self-esteem
Narcissists derive joy in doing this. Feel yourself a little and watch them destroy your self-esteem. In fact, you don’t even have to feel yourself for them to do this.
Bringing down your self-esteem automatically increases theirs. You find yourself feeling not good enough.
Although you’ve proven successful in your career, have built a solid foundation for yourself, receive compliments regarding your accomplishments (and even your looks).
No matter the Kudos you receive from the outside world, the narcissist doesn’t seem to notice, and worse mocks you for them because they aspire to destroy your self-esteem.
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You feel unworthy due to constant name-calling
This goes hand in hand with point number 7. Of course, when your self-esteem is tarnished, you begin to feel unworthy.
This might not have been the case for you before but being in their space and listening to them talk about ‘how you are not all that‘ begins to get in your head.
Their constant name-calling is also something that could make you feel unworthy.
Note: It’s one thing for someone to call you pet names or even tease you on occasion, but another entirely to call you “crybaby”, “fatty”, “moody bi**h”, “lazy ass” or “not a man” “unstable”, “crazy”, or other hurtful names.
Which are often intended to hurt you, belittle you and make you question your worth. It is employed under the guise of joking.
Whether they are arguing with you or the two of you are having a “good” day, constant name-calling is not appropriate. This is a trademark of verbal abuse.
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Constant Silent treatment
Narcissists are often good at giving silent treatments that would frustrate you a lot. It is one thing to be upset and chose not to talk for a while but it is another thing when you zoom out from all forms of communication.
The silent treatment is a narcissist most common tactic. They know this evokes your fear of abandonment.
So when the narcissist finally returns, you experience a rush of euphoric relief. When this abandon and rescue feeling becomes constant and repeated, it can get pretty exhausting.
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You feel engulfed by the relationship
One of the trademarks of narcissistic individuals is the way they hijack their victim’s world, effectively consuming every moment of the day.
They just want to be the highlight of your every moment. This engulfment can be observed in the way they call, text, and email numerous times a day (often well into the hundreds).
Or Encourage you to detach from friends, dictate how you should dress and/or wear your hair, display ‘excessive’ jealousy, and, sometimes, even control what you eat.
This engulfment also consists of the “walking on eggshells”. This comes from the fear of not knowing what will upset the volatile narcissist.
Repin for later
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