There are four groups of people you must forgive if you desire a happy and joyful life. I made the list so short just for you to see that it is not a difficult journey to start.
1. PARENTS(living or dead):
People complain and sometimes try to justify their reasons for failure because of something they did not do, thereby limiting themselves to the boundary of their level of unforgiveness.
You must absolutely forgive them for every mistake they ever made in bringing you up. At least you should be grateful for them giving you life.
Every person has a certain level of limitation around them, either financial limitation, environmental limitation, and ignorance. Their choice and decision was due to their level of information and limitation they had.
You have to decide to forgive your parents so you can break out of your limitation. And put your total energy into your growth. So never complain about them again.
In contrast, by not forgiving your parents, you remain forever a child. You block your own chance to grow up and become a fully functioning adult. You continue to see yourself as a victim. Even worse, you keep your negative feelings of inferiority and anger alive.
If your parents die without your having forgiven them, it can bother you for the rest of your life.
2. CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS THAT DIDN’T WORK:
The second group of people you must forgive are close relationships that didn’t work. Isn’t it so surprising to see once lovers suddenly turn into enemies just because the relationship didn’t work out?
I know for certain that marriage and intimate relationships can be so intense and threatening to your feelings that you can be so angry and unforgiving towards people for years.
But, from the article on how to forgive, I mentioned that you have to take responsibility. Because you are partially responsible.
Have the personal strength and integrity to say, “I am responsible,” and then forgive the other person and let him or her go. Say the words, “I forgive him/her for everything and I wish him/her well.”
Every time you reiterate this, the negative emotion connected to the memory will reduce. Shortly, it will be gone forever.
3. EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER HURT YOU:
This group contains those persons you feel you are justified to not forgive. I mean every boss, business partner, friend, crook, or betrayer who has ever caused you the grief of any kind.
Wipe each of their names and images off by saying, “I forgive him/her for everything, and I wish him/her well.” Keep on repeating this statement each time you think of the person or situation until the negative feelings are gone.
4. YOURSELF:
The fourth group of people or sorry the fourth person you must forgive is yourself. I know I have always said take responsibility. But in case you take too much responsibility to the extent of blaming yourself. Then, you also have to forgive yourself.
You must absolutely forgive yourself for every silly, senseless, wicked, brainless, thoughtless, or cruel thing you have ever done or said. Stop holding on to those past mistakes. That was then and this is now.
Whatever decisions you made in the past that you feel bad about, you need to know that was not you. It was an immature version of yourself. You know better now.
Stop beating yourself for past experiences that you cannot change.
Just say, “I forgive myself for every mistake I ever made. I am a thoroughly good person and I am going to have a wonderful future.” Whenever you think of that event or situation, just repeat, “I forgive myself completely.” And then get on with your life. Concentrate on the future rather than the past. Look at where you are going rather than where you have been.
Lastly, if you did something that hurt someone, and you still feel bad about it, you can go to that person, or write, and apologize. Tell the person you are sorry for what you did or said. Whatever his or her reaction, positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. The very act of repentance, of expressing regret, will set you free.
see also
3 probable ways to fix a toxic relationship
5 easy ways to test your partner love for you
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