9 Signs To Know When To Walk Away From A Failing/Failed Relationship
Deciding whether or not to walk away from someone you really love is tough. But life is about making tough decisions for your betterment. There are times when you have to listen to your head and not your heart. This is the mistake people in love make, they let themselves be influenced by their hearts and not their brains then in the end fail to realize they are in a toxic and unsatisfying relationship.
It seems that so many of us our time is occupied by those almost great loves. Such relationships are hard to walk away from cause it’s almost there, we’ve almost made it. So how do we know when it’s the right time to walk away?
Many of us end up marrying our “almost”, we then barter happiness in exchange for getting what we want or what we think we need without realizing that sometimes we’re meant to give up. Don’t forget that relationship with yourself is the most important one and the first relationship in your life. Regardless of how long you two have been together or married to each other, don’t get too carried away to realize signs you have to end things and walk away.
If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance in the negative before you know it. Know when to close the account, it’s better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.
The kind of love we are looking for will not come except we make room for it.
9 Signs You Need To Walk Away From A Relationship
1. You Are Always Tolerating
Love is not a reason to tolerate constant disrespect. Life’s too short to tolerate anything that doesn’t make you happy.
We have a belief that no one stays in crazy passionate love forever, yet this is a lie told by those to make themselves feel more comfortable about their choices. The truth is the honeymoon stage can fade but the honeymoon feelings can last as long as the spark between two people is still very strong. If you find yourself tolerating habits, quirks, and even preference of your partner way too often than you are supposed to then you should end things before you lose your self-respect completely.
“There is no virtue in tolerating toxic behaviors”-Dr. Phil.
Be careful what you tolerate because you’re teaching people how to treat you.
2. You Are Compromising Your Happiness To Make It Work
First, you need to ask yourself, is it worth it?
There is no doubt that there is always a need for compromise when you’re in love. But it shouldn’t be to the extent you start suffering because of it.
Commitment is another name for a good relationship not compromise. You earn a healthy relationship, you don’t compromise for it.
If you find yourself cutting off things, goals, dreams, and people that are vital to your happiness just to make the relationship work out then the reality of the relationship has already ended.
In a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t change who you are for the love of someone else, rather you both should be on the journey of self-development. No good relationship will require you to give up your smiles. Come to think of it, isn’t happiness what we enjoy most in a relationship, why do you have to give it up.
3. You Find Yourself Crying More Often Than Smiling
This is may seem like an obvious one but sometimes when we’re too deep in love in a relationship, we become obsessed with making it work than sit back and consider if we should be doing that. Don’t forget you’re in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories, not to constantly be upset, hurting, and crying. No relationship is perfect, but there should be more good times than bad times.
There should be more times when you’re happy and smiling than times when you induce tears, anxiety, arguments, or even apathy. Understand that not all relationships are meant to last, but they teach you something about love, and most importantly about yourself.
4. You Feel Like Alien To Yourself
Good relationships shouldn’t make you feel afraid of being who you are in front of your partners. It should rather make you be the best of you.
If you feel you’re literally molding yourself into someone you’re not, faking your attitude around him/her, pretending to like everything your partner likes even when you know it’s not true, lying about your schedules all the time, watching movies you hate just to impress him/her. You should ask yourself, “what the heck am I doing here?”
Such a relationship was never real and can never be real. You should be comfortable with your partner and your partner should be comfortable with you.
5. Your Sex Is Like A Chore
If sex between you and your partner has become dutiful and routine and just as quick, then you should start to ask yourself why? Sex is more than an act of pleasure, it is the barometer for our relationship as long as you don’t buy the norm that at a certain point you two will stop caring about sex (you might end up rarely having sex).
Regardless of how long you two have been together; a few months or a few years, sex is important not because of climax but because of the importance of grounding the relationship in physical intimacy.
6. You Both Want Different Things
It hurts to know that the person you really love is on a different path from you. You may be tempted to stay with hope that later on, you’ll want similar things, but that rarely happens. The truth is you might lose yourself in the process.
Some couples are just not compatible, you and your partner might be one of them. No matter how you try your paths, goals, dream, ambition, they just can’t align.
This doesn’t mean you must have the same character or hobbies. This means you two have the best understanding of your difference. You know no matter how different you are, you’re always on the same side. If not then such a relationship will go as far as ruining your self-development and respect.
7. There is abuse involve
I’m not just talking about physical abuse_ I’m also talking about verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse, and any form of abuse possible. It’s dangerous to be in a relationship where you’re been treated wrongly. There are things you shouldn’t tolerate and this is one of them.
Sometimes we don’t even know we are in an abusive relationship because we are too afraid to state the obvious or you’re crazy in love.
There are some signs to help you realize you are in an abusive relationship;
- You walk on eggshells to avoid hurting your partner. You’re afraid of your partner when he or she is angry, you’re even afraid to disagree with your partner.
- You feel stuck, confused, pressured. You feel like everything is your fault even when your gut is telling you something else. It’s like your voice has been taken away from you and you feel helpless and trapped.
- You’re the one apologizing even when you did nothing wrong.
- Your feelings and opinions are neglected and you’re forced to find bliss in ignorance.
- Your partner mistrusts you in everything. You’re not even allowed to speak for yourself, when he confronts you with matters about trust or anything else you can’t speak up
- You’re unable to discuss your relationship problems with him or her. You’re emotionally pressured most of the time.
There are other obvious signs like being beaten or always threatened. He or she always puts you down with words. It’s crazy to want to endure all that. You’re putting a lot at risk for your life, health, and happiness. It leads to depression. It impacts your identity, self-esteem, and confidence. Such a relationship is way too toxic to be in.
8. You Break Up And Make-up Often
Couples who have been in a relationship for a long time may have broken up and got back together again at some point in their relationship. That isn’t something to worry about. What’s wrong is if couples are in a relationship strobe light, on and off over and over again.
Continuous break-up and make-up mean there are issues you two can just never overcome. So instead of wasting time why not end it once and for all? It might be you two are just not compatible.
9. You Both Live Miles Apart
This doesn’t necessarily mean you live far away from each other. You’re together but far apart from each other. He/she no longer gives you attention, or you find yourself wanting to do something else other than spending time with your partner. He/she is also not interested in spending quality time with you. You are both always minding your businesses.
You find out you’d rather give your attention to anyone else that’s not him/her. This can cause cheating or is a result of cheating (if this is already happening then that relationship is dying)
Quality time spent together is needed for your connection to last, you should try and fix it. But if you can’t resolve the cause then you consider leaving that relationship. You deserve love, attention, appreciation, and care.
Conclusion
A relationship is like glass sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together.
You should learn to love yourself, know your worth before giving in to any relationship. It’s not going to be easy to walk away but when you look back you’ll realize it is what’s best for the two of you.
See also;
10 SURE SIGNS A GIRL WITH A BOYFRIEND LIKES YOU
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