With the rise of online dating, it’s easier than ever to find someone who looks great on paper and might even seem like the perfect fit when you’re out on your first date with them. But there are still plenty of things to look out for in relationships, whether they start online or in person so that you’re more likely to end up in a partnership that lasts the distance.
Dating in the 21st century is tricky, especially if you’ve recently become single after being in a long-term relationship. If you’re trying to avoid another heartbreak, it can be hard to know what kind of person to date, or even how to date at all! Here are some tips on what to look out for in your next relationship.
Don’t Focus on The Future Too Much
When you’re with someone, you have to understand that there’s an inherent risk of losing that person. It happens every day, and it doesn’t have anything to do with trust issues or infidelity. Just as you can fall out of love with someone, that person can fall out of love with you.
Sometimes it may happen for no discernible reason whatsoever. It just happens sometimes, so remember when things are going well not to take everything at face value. There’s always a chance that your partner could be thinking about his or her next relationship while they’re still in yours.
Communication is Key
With your smartphone never far away and email at your fingertips, it’s easy to think that communicating with someone is simple. However, what might come across as flirty banter over WhatsApp could very well be misinterpreted when spoken aloud.
Being too familiar or friendly before you meet face-to-face can do more harm than good when things don’t work out. When messaging or talking on the phone, try to avoid bantering about what you’re doing at any particular moment (e.g., Oh I just had some pizza and am watching TV) as it could come across as childish, rather than romantic.
Don’t Ignore The Differences
When dating someone new, it can be easy to focus on how much you have in common. But pay attention to what’s different about your significant other. Maybe he or she loves pop music, but you’re more of an indie rock kind of person.
That doesn’t mean it won’t work—it might just take some compromise. And when push comes to shove, knowing what really matters will give you a good insight into your partner and relationship as a whole.
Plus, it could very well lead to finding someone who shares some of your tastes but also has new ones for you to learn about and grow with!
Don’t Get Caught Up In Love at First Sight
Love is probably one of, if not the most, sought-after human emotion. In fact, there’s even an entire month dedicated to it. But just because everyone’s looking for love doesn’t mean it’s always so easy to find or that you’re going to like what you find. Take things slow—really slow—and watch how your partner treats other people and responds under stress.
Know When to Cut the Chit-Chat
There’s nothing wrong with making small talk, but if you’re looking for something serious, save it for later. Talking about superficial things makes people feel closer at first because they think they’re getting to know each other.
However, according to Dr Arthur Aron of Stony Brook University (as quoted in Psychology Today), discussing superficial things actually creates immediate liking and has no connection with long-term relationship success. In other words, don’t waste your time trying to impress someone by listing off every Disney movie ever made—you want true attraction that lasts longer than happy hour.
Save your story-telling powers for when you really know someone well enough to share who you are deep down inside.
Make Time for Each Other
Today’s couples can often get so caught up in their busy schedules that they lose touch. To make sure your relationship stays strong, it’s vital that you carve out quality time for each other – ideally at least once a week.
No matter how distracting life gets, it’s easy to lose sight of how important regular date nights are. You both deserve some face time away from work and technology (and kids). If you don’t have regular date nights yet, start planning today.
Give and Take Equally, But Not Equally All The Time
One of the hardest challenges for any relationship is finding a balance between giving and taking. The easiest way to define this is through your relationship with work and with your personal life. If you’re always at work and never spending time with family or friends, or vice versa, it can become detrimental for everyone involved.
You need balance. So make sure that when you’re spending time at work or working hard on one aspect of your life, you’re not neglecting another important part of it—and vice versa.
Take Risks Together
Even if you’re just beginning to date someone, it’s important to get comfortable with taking risks. This can mean trying new things together or introducing each other to friends and family. It can also be as simple as giving each other feedback.
The point is, if you feel comfortable taking those risks early on, it’s likely that you’ll be more relaxed throughout your relationship. Just remember that when something goes wrong, there will be time for tears later–make sure they are happy ones!
Compromise
In a new relationship, everything is exciting and romance is in the air. Those initial feelings of love can be intense—and so can your expectations of yourself and your partner. When you start dating someone new, it’s important to keep an open mind and consider how willing you are to make compromises for your partner.
Your expectations might not line up perfectly with what they’re willing or able to offer, which means that both people will need to make some adjustments in order for things to work out. Setting realistic boundaries when you’re just starting out can help prevent problems down the road when conflicts arise between two very different points of view.
Excellent Conflict Resolution Skills
It may sound like a cliche, but communication is key. Have you and your partner figured out how to compromise? Do you know how to argue without bringing up past mistakes? If not, it’s time for some relationship therapy.
Conflicts can arise even when both people are trying their best at all times. Having excellent conflict resolution skills will mean that you can resolve these conflicts in an efficient way that keeps your relationship on solid footing.
Being able to handle conflict constructively will also help you respond if things go wrong down the road. You should never have all of your conversations over text messages or social media – true communication happens face-to-face and with respect at all times!
Accountability
If you can’t trust your partner, there’s little hope for moving forward. Establishing an open line of communication is an essential step to ensuring your mutual well-being. Of course, that doesn’t mean snooping through your significant other’s phone or inbox; it means talking about what matters most and being honest about your feelings when something isn’t right.
If he/she doesn’t welcome openness with open arms, you should reconsider whether he/she is worthy of a relationship. You’re only as sick as your secrets—don’t allow yourself or others around you to remain unhealthy!
You Can Be You
In an era where your dating identity is shaped by social media, it can be tempting to try and conform yourself to someone your significant other wants or needs you to be.
But at some point, whether after months or years of happy coupledom, that facade will crack and you’ll see it for what it really is. Let your authentic self shine through; if he/she doesn’t like who you really are, maybe they weren’t right for you anyway.
A Good Listener
True communication is two-way. If you’re looking for someone who’s truly invested and willing to give you their all, then look out for somebody who will actively listen and respond to what you have to say. Communication is tricky; it has three parts—speaking, listening, and understanding—and all of them are critical if you want a healthy relationship that lasts.
A good listener is not only a rarity in today’s dating scene, but is also an indicator that your match wants something deeper than just casual flings. Everyone has experienced aeroplane ears before (when someone pretends they’re listening but really isn’t), so make sure your date’s actions reflect their words when they tell you how much they care about what you have to say.
The Same Sense of Humor
Many people assume that opposites attract and therefore share certain values. This might be true when it comes to politics or religion, but it doesn’t mean you need to share every value with your partner. It is important that you can actually enjoy each other’s company!
Having some areas of commonality is nice, but you want individuals who keep you laughing and open-minded. Keep an eye out for someone with whom you share a similar sense of humour!
They don’t have to agree with everything you say, but they should take joy in your silly side and vice versa. A sense of humour is vital for any relationship!
A Genuine Interest In You
When you’re with someone who is actually interested in getting to know you, it will be obvious. You should feel relaxed and free to be yourself with them—even during disagreements or when things don’t go your way.
They want what’s best for you, not just for themselves. True love looks out for your needs first and foremost; it puts you first above everything else. Their priority is your happiness, not your own. When someone cares about you as much as they care about themselves, it changes them for the better, too.
Solitude
Being alone might be uncomfortable at first but it’s important. If you spend all your time with someone, even if they are right for you, then when things go wrong in that relationship you won’t be able to deal with being alone. This is particularly important if you want children.
If a marriage fails when children are involved then there is no one else to support them. When things go wrong and there is no one else around who can help it can leave lasting damage on children and they will learn how not having anyone around feels at an early age; sometimes too young of an age to understand what is going on around them and why their lives have changed so much because of it.
Encourage each other to succeed
It’s crucial for both of you to go after your goals together. Make sure that you and your significant other support each other, no matter what. If one of you is interested in taking up karate or seeing more concerts, encourage it.
Relationships are about so much more than just hanging out and watching TV all day. And even if your partner doesn’t always succeed, try supporting them anyway because that’s part of being a good partner too.
Being there for each other can also help keep your relationship healthy and strong, which means that when either one of you fails (or succeeds) at something, you can celebrate it as a team—and maybe even find ways to fail better next time!
Transparency
Relationships often fall apart because of a lack of communication. To avoid that, start with complete transparency about everything from your finances and hobbies to past relationships and exes. No question is off limits, so there’s no hidden agenda or mystery that could break up your relationship later on.
Honesty is one of the most important foundations for any relationship, but it’s especially crucial when you’re dating online. It might sound obvious, but at times it can be easy to get swept away by someone who seems too good to be true. While none of us is perfect and every relationship will have its ups and downs, complete honesty up front is vital if you want a healthy relationship long term.
Conclusion
And so, love yourself. Take care of yourself. Go out there, find love, and hold on tight. Be your own best friend and do not let go even when things get tough!
Do not settle for less than you deserve! Life is short so make it as happy as possible but never forget that you are worthy of everything that you desire…and then some!
Make every day count and always look forward to what’s next—whether it’s tomorrow or next year—but don’t ever feel like looking back is necessary.
You have come a long way since you were young and now should be proud of who you are; take all those experiences and learn from them because they will help mould who you become.
Leave a Reply