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Escape Route: 6 A+ Ways to Heal From a Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is like a deep cut. If you’ve even had one, you know how painful it is. Worse of all, it takes a lot more time to heal than you imagined.

Healing from a toxic relationship is hard and painful. It takes courage. Sometimes you think you can never get yourself back. It’s one scary journey that’s filled with so many uncertainties. And nobody wants to go through that.

However, you would have to head that way if you’re currently in a toxic relationship. See, you don’t need to “think things through”, the only thing you need to do is leave. Because toxicity in relationships is a deal breaker{hyperlink to deal breaker article}

It doesn’t need to be considered. Leave while you still have a tad bit of your sanity. I know It’s hard. But you need to think about your life because toxicity kills.

Sometimes, you wonder, “How did I get myself into this mess?” Just know this; it’s not you.

No one in their right senses enters a toxic relationship. It’s often hidden in the beginning. And that’s because new relationships “intoxicate.” You know how it is.

Your heart is racing twice as much. You’re “blown away.” You can’t stop thinking about them. You freak out when you don’t hear from them in 2 minutes. You long to talk with them—every time.

In this case, any toxic trait doesn’t seem to show itself. It just lay low, waiting for a trigger. But as time passes, you begin to see the pixel-dust traits. You’ll be like, “What’s going on here?”

Conversely, you may see those traits and still put up with it thinking, “Oh that’s nothing. I can manage.” No, you can’t. You are heading for a catastrophe.

This is why you should know what you’re getting yourself into before you get into it. On the other hand, You may already be in a toxic relationship and have no clue.

Maybe you’re naive or just plain insensitive. Either way, you still need to know. So…

How Do You Know You’re in a Toxic Relationship?

Toxicity in a relationship is insidious. It may come as a fling of behaviours. You can’t tell when such behaviours start killing you until you’ve completely lost your peace. But there are always signs. Traits always leave marks. And I brought some for you. This is how you know:

Constant criticism, belittling, and maligning statements.
Emotional abuse and physical abuse.
Incessant quarrel and dissension.
Lack of respect for boundaries, feelings, and preferences.
Lack of inadequate support.
Manipulative and always wanting to have their way.
They isolate you from others and make you feel dependent on them.
Unhealthy jealousy, obsession, and terrible insecurity issues.

Can you tell now?

Now, if the “deed has already been done” in your case—I mean you’re out already and looking for how to reclaim your life—here are some tips that can help.

How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship

ACKNOWLEDGE

You need to first of all acknowledge that what you left was toxic and terrible for you. Like I said, no one plans their way into a toxic relationship. So don’t blame yourself. Just be first aware before looking for other needed steps to heal.

ADMIT

Admitting hurt is tough—and uncomfortable. But there’s no point in burying your feelings. Admit that you’ve been hurt. Feel every emotion that comes with it. Let it come to the surface and don’t hold yourself back from releasing it. It has no place in you. Let it go.

ABOLISH

Cut all forms of contact from your old partner. It can be tempting to reach out and just “check in” but that’s not necessary. Doing that will only open up new scars. So it’s in your best interest to never reach out to them again. That’s only how you can heal faster.

ATTEND

Whoever hurt you, lost. Now it’s time to prioritize—and take care of—yourself. “Attend” to yourself and don’t feel weird about it. Here are some things you can do:

Keep a journal of your feelings. Document every experience and exactly how you felt. This gives room for you to have deep thoughts on what to avoid later on.
Take care of your mental and physical health by exercising and eating healthy. You need to feel alive again.
Self-reflect on what happened not to open up old wounds but to find lessons that you can learn from.
Set boundaries and be clear on them so such things won’t happen in the future.
Be kind and patient with yourself. You’re not gonna heal in a day. It’s gonna take a while. So you might as well give yourself some leeway. Don’t be hard on yourself.

At this stage, you need all the help and support you can get. That’s why having a strong support system is invaluable. Connect with friends and families who understand what you’re going through and can be there for you emotionally and physically. You may also need professional help. Go for counselling and therapy.

Getting aids give you some sort of reassurance that you’re not alone in this. People who truly care and love you are there.

Accept yourself back with the whole of you. Don’t be afraid to do what you love doing. The previous relationship did take a huge toll on you. Now you have the chance to rediscover yourself.

Engage in outdoor activities, take up a new hobby, learn a new language, go skydiving—I don’t know. Just do something unusual that completely takes your mind off.

Bottom Line

Toxicity is poisonous. And we all know getting the poison out of our bodies takes time. It’s one rigorous process. So don’t be hard on yourself.

Give yourself ample time to heal before you consider entering another relationship. You can’t afford to take garbage to another “ship”. That’s why healing is paramount.

Take time to heal, and as you journey, I hope you get better—faster.

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