125 Funny Things To Say To Your Friends- Random And Funny For Any Situation.

Not every one of us has been gifted with a great sense of humour or razor-sharp wit. In reality, the majority of us experience surprise whenever it’s necessary to lighten the tone or inject humour into a conversation.

So, Are you tired of having the same old conversations with your friends? Want to inject some humour and laughter into your interactions? Well, look no further! In this article, we’re going to share with you 125 funny things to say to your friends that are guaranteed to make them laugh and lighten the mood.

From puns and one-liners to witty comebacks and silly jokes, we’ve got you covered with a variety of humour styles to suit every taste. Whether you’re looking to break the ice with a new friend or keep things interesting with your long-time pals, these funny phrases are sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face.

Not only will these jokes and quips make you the life of the party, but they can also help you strengthen your relationships with your friends. Laughter has been proven to reduce stress, improve mood, and even boost your immune system. So, why not share some laughs and reap the benefits?

So, get ready to add some humour to your conversations and make your friends laugh with our list of 125 funny things to say to your friends. From cheesy puns to clever wordplay, we’ve got plenty of jokes and one-liners to keep the laughs coming. So, grab a pen and paper, take some notes, and let’s get started!

The first step is to read this compilation of amusing random things to say, memorize them, and use them as a backup in case of need.

As a disclaimer,  make sure to properly scan the environment before using any of these conversation starters. It’s possible that they function best when you’re around individuals you already know, but those who don’t take chances don’t drink champagne.

Anyhow, if you look through our selection of these lively conversation starters below, you’ll be certain to never run out of amusing things to say!

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Funny Things To Say To Your Friends

1. If plan A doesn’t work, don’t worry. The alphabet still has 25 more letters!
2. I don’t have a mental illness since I love every second of it.
3. When you see the light at the end of the tunnel, if you’re the unlucky type, run—the train is coming.
4. The term “baby receipt” could be used to describe a birth certificate.
5. Those that are organized are simply too lazy to look for their belongings.
6. Alcohol does not provide a solution to any issues. But then then, milk doesn’t either.
7. The best teacher of all is time. It’s too unfortunate that all of its students die.
8. I can tell by looking at someone when they are passing judgment.
9. Whatever is eating you must be really hungry.
10. If we were on a plane about to crash and only had one parachute, I promise I’d give an amazing speech at your funeral.
11. Not being in a relationship is the key to happiness.
12. With both of my wife, I’ve had poor luck. The second one stuck with me, but the first one left me.
13. My day is definitely made better by Earth’s rotation.
14. Although some say that money speaks, all mine says is “Goodbye.”
15. What does a mural cost if a picture is worth a thousand words?
16. Why don’t shorts cost half as much as pants?
17. If you stack one lasagna on top of another, you still only have one lasagna.
18. Every day, I clean my home. I nearly cleaned it on Monday, nearly cleaned it on Tuesday, nearly cleaned it on Wednesday…
19. Even the calendar screams WTF after Tuesday.
20. It’s unpleasant to sit on a cold seat in a public bathroom. A warm seat in a public bathroom, on the other hand, is far worse.
21. 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I’m crazy. The tenth is just playing drums.
22. Running in place will get you nowhere fast.
23. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s just impossible to put down.
24. LOL has gone from meaning “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say.”
25. I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
26. I wonder how much money the phrase “Keep the change” cost me so far.
27. Auto-correct should have been named more precisely as auto-assume.
28. Isn’t it strange that cigarettes are sold in gas stations, since smoking is prohibited there?
29. Tell a friend, “I had a dream about you last night. You did terrible things.”
30. A pessimist is someone who has spent too much time listening to optimists.
31. Earth is like the insane asylum for the universe.
32. If you lend someone money and never see them again, it was probably worth every penny.
33. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
34. There is too much emphasis on the early bird’s good luck and not enough on the early worm’s bad luck.
35. I sold my vacuum cleaner because all it was doing was gathering dust.
36. It’s difficult to do nothing because you never know when you’re done.
37. Please excuse my naivety. I was born at a very early age.
38. Love must truly be blind because it can’t see me at all.
39. People don’t notice my superpower, making myself invisible.
40. An apple a day keeps the doctor away… if you throw it hard enough!
41. If a market is well stocked, is it called the stock market?
42. My head is very slowly 3D printing my hair.
43. If you think no one cares whether you’re alive or dead, just skip a handful of credit card payments.
44. Whiteboards really are remarkable.
45. A balanced diet simply means having a pizza slice in each hand.
46. I don’t understand how people can be so open-minded. Whenever I try, my brain keeps falling out.
47. I’ll have a bloody mary because they say it helps cure hangovers.
48. Just take my advice because I’m not going to use it.
49. Dogs can’t see inside your body, but CAT scan.
50. I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.
51. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
52. I’ve always thought air was free. That is, I did until I went out and bought a $3 bag of crisps.
53. Refusing to go to the gym is one of the best forms of resistance training.
54. Always remember that you’re unique… just like everyone else is.
55. I don’t really need a hairstylist since my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
56. Is a paper cut the tree’s way of getting back at you?
57. If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.
58. I’m out of my mind. I’ll be back in five minutes.
59. If I tried to look as attractive as all of the celebrities I like, I’d end up looking about as ugly as I am.
60. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
61. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together?
62. It is impossible to dig half of a hole.
63. My friendship is not for sale, but we can talk about a short-term rental.
64. If I won the prize of laziest person, I’d ask somebody to go get it for me.
65. Gossipy? I’m just an historian of other people’s lives!
66. The first five days of the week are the toughest.
67. There’s only one thing that is worse than waking up early: a holiday on a Sunday.
68. Dear math: please, be a grown up and solve your problems by yourself.
69. Whisper audibly to yourself while someone recalls an experience, “Just like in my dream!”.
70. Every person should marry an archeologist, because the older person gets, the more they’ll love them.
71. A bag of money can represent not only wealth, but also massive inflation.
72. I am a great housekeeper. Every time I leave someone, I keep their house.
73. Is there a connection between candy corn and corn nuts?
74. The next time you buy a donut, complain that there’s a hole in it.
75. A cookie a day keeps your sadness away, but an entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.
76. If hamburger meat makes a meatloaf, then laziness will make me-a-loaf.
77. I am going to get my toe nail-pierced this Friday.
78. Is cardboard more board than card or more card than board?
79. I tried rearranging the alphabet, but for some reason, the letters U and I would never separate.
80. Those who sneezes are the most blessed.
81. Whoever said you can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop!
82. The devil shakes a pitchfork, the grim reaper swings a scythe… farming must be a big thing in hell.
83. The only thing I get out of Algebra is when I look at X and wonder Y.
84. Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times, I let my wife sleep.
85. Bullets are the only things on Earth that do their job after they’ve been fired.
86. I am not as think as you confused I am really!
87. Why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator if you’re not supposed to eat at night?
88. I had a sweet side, but I ate it.
89. I was looking for the good side of life but concluded that life is a sphere.
90. Money is not everything. Don’t forget the gold, the diamonds, and property.
91. Giving up is for weak people. Be like me, don’t even try.
92. Don’t beat yourself up. A new beginning is only a new chance for failure.
93. Kids believe in fairy tales. I’ve moved on to soap operas and political speeches.
94. Please don’t eat that in my presence. I get sympathy gas.
95. I took the road less traveled by. Thanks a lot, Google Maps!
96. My tallest finger loves giving people standing ovations.
97. I’m so glad we have brown cows, otherwise there wouldn’t be any chocolate milk.
98. Try calling someone just to tell them you can’t talk right now.
99. I had used up all of my sick leave, so I called in dead.
100. Barbie is so popular and yet, kids still buy friends for her.
101. I promise to step on your feet if you dance with me.
102. Except for a parking meter, change is inevitable.
103. Is a heart attack the same as an attack of the heart?
104. How does the non-stick coating stick to the pan?
105. Why aren’t coffees served on a coffee table?
106. I would really like to help you out today. Which way did you come in?
107. The goal of golf is to play as little golf as possible.
108. I have clean conscience. I haven’t used it once.
109. How can you scoot along if you don’t have a scooter?
110. What is the soul good for if laughter is good for the soul?
111. You’re in the wrong lane when everything is coming at you.
112. If you are on a diet, the first three letters of that word are probably feeling pretty accurate right now.
113. I’d be happy to give you a shoulder to cry on, except I don’t want my shoulder to get wet.
114. I love that our easygoing friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
115. If you lose a shoe, you’ve practically lost yourself two shoes.
116. If someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster?
117. A bed is basically a shelf for the body.
118. Every single thing in this world is either a motorbike or not a motorbike.
119. Laziness is the mother of all vices, and as a mother, she deserves to be respected.
120. What if every country has its own ninjas but we only know about the Japanese ninjas because they are the worst?
121. If nothing is impossible, then I’ve been doing the impossible for years.
122. I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.
123. In response to any suggestion, “But at what cost?”
124. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s exactly what you are looking for, go live with a car battery.
125. Why isn’t phonetic spelt the way it sounds?

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Conclusion 

Adding some humour to your conversations with friends can go a long way in strengthening your relationships and creating memorable moments. With our list of 125 funny things to say to your friends, you now have plenty of material to keep the laughs coming and break the ice in any situation. From silly puns to witty comebacks, these phrases are sure to bring a smile to everyone’s face and brighten up even the dullest of days. So, don’t be afraid to let loose, share some laughs, and enjoy the company of your friends. After all, life is too short to be serious all the time.