5 intelligent ways to deal with judgemental people
Judgemental people are bad people. They’re misguided beings who have lost themselves in a world of fear, blame, criticism. What they need is not anger, irritation, and frustration but rather our love, forgiveness, and compassion.
There’s always someone in our lives who unintentionally hurt us. Their words are harsh and it makes us feel judged. You start feeling unsafe around them cause you just can’t decide something they don’t fault when they’re around.
In this world people will always have something to say about you, you would also have something to say about someone else. The only thing people can’t talk about is non-existing things. Yeah, they will likely talk about your choices, your residence, your job, even hobbies. And often when you didn’t ask for their opinion or advice.
You would want to stay away from such people even if it means moving out of your apartment. But what if these set of people happen to be close relatives, friends, might be your love partner. Keeping your distance might be very challenging. You’ll need them as a part of your life, not to consume you but to improve your learning experience.
How to deal with judgemental people
Here are tips to help you deal with judgemental people
1. Don’t take it personally
Don’t take anything, anyone says or does personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say or do is a projection of “their” reality. It’s their dream, not yours. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds. It’s something you need to do to ease yourself of the pressure of condemnation. If you’re not doing something right, don’t forget you’re good at something else. Become immune to the opinion and actions of others and you won’t be a victim of needless suffering.
2. Be compassionate
Sometimes it’s a matter of their past that made them this way. Don’t let their insecurities rub off on you. Judgemental people are made, not born. They could have been nurtured in a judgemental home, under judgemental parents or guardians, so it ended up having a huge effect on them. It might be possible it won’t make them nicer but coming to that realization will help you void anger and practice a little bit of empathy on them.
Often when people say hurtful things, it’s because they’re hurting and have unmet needs it’s not because of who we are or what we’ve done.
3. Look at it as a life lesson
Life is all about learning. You learn to grow, and the more you grow the tougher it gets. Judgemental people are a part of it, see them as a test. Teach yourself to react right. What to say or do when you’re in a conversation with them, it’ll help you become a better person, or worse if you react with negativity.
4. Don’t sink to their level
While you’re busy improving on yourself, they’re busy finding faults. So don’t stoop so low, you’re better than them. Believe it or not. It’s tempting to want to attack or defend yourself but by doing this you’re behaving just like them. Take some time to yourself and calm down.
You can even picture them as if they’re children. Yeah. Kids do so many things wrong yet we go easy on them cause they’re not smart enough to know they’re wrong. So is a judgemental adult, they don’t get it yet_ like kids.
5. Embracing your fear and Insecurities
These type of interactions allows you to find your fears and insecurities. When we feel hurt it’s often because it triggers unresolved emotion within us. Now you know this, you can practice self-inquiry, without judging or hurting yourself.
This realization gives you self-discovery. You learn to love yourself more as you continually improve on yourself instead of judging others.
What’s important is to cool off first before taking your next step of action.
6. Demonstrate vulnerability with intelligence
Your story is not for everyone. Before you decide to share you have to ask yourself a very important question, ‘who has earned the right to hear my story?’
This doesn’t mean you’re wiser or better than everyone else, it just your story shouldn’t serve as a purpose for a conversation.
Don’t forget people judge you by what they know or they think they know about you. It’s a matter of how you present your imperfections to them. Until they’re worthy, mind who you share your story with.
7. Focus your attention on people who loves and supports you
Be surrounded by people who love and want the best for you. You need them to support you, there’s as much your strength can handle. As you learn life lessons from your criticizers, also learn from your supporters.
8. Create boundaries
Though interacting with judgemental people can be beneficial, it’s important to set boundaries, less they consume your sense of reasoning. Like I said earlier there’s as much as your strength can take.
If a relationship is causing you pain but it’s beneficial. Look for a way to set a boundary. Ensure to keep them at the far end of your life.
9. Don’t believe everything they say
This is important. Not everything they say is true about you, and don’t make them true with your imaginations. You might not be perfect to them but you’re enough for you.
So many change their looks, their weight, their style because someone told them how awful they look. Some go as far as living a life that’s not suitable for them just to live up to someone else’s standards. If it’s not yours it’s not enough.
Take the positivity from every judgment. And remember it’s not always about you, they might be talking about their selves, reflecting on their past, trying to picture a dream they never achieved. It’s never all about you. Just accept it and change the outcomes. Don’t forget these people only see things from their level of perception.