Anger Management-10 Amazing Strategies To Control your Anger
Not being able to control your anger or temper can lead to varieties of problems like saying things you regret, physical violence, yelling at your kids, hurting your friends with both words and actions, and developing health problems. Some forms of anger can be different. It can make spend time thinking about upsetting events, getting frustrated over little things.
Understand that anger is not a bad emotion. As a matter of fact, it helps you to be honest or to stand up for what you believe in. So anger management doesn’t mean never getting angry, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling angry. It involves being able to recognize, cope with and express your anger in a much more productive way. This also applies to those who think they have their emotions under control. There’s always room for improvement.
What is Anger?
Anger is a natural, sometimes unwanted, or irrational emotion. It is expressed as a state of emotion that can range from being mildly irritated to feeling furious or filled with range. Many people have categorized anger as solely negative meanwhile, it can also be positive. It can motivate you to stand up for someone and yourself, it helps you defend your beliefs, it may even lead you to create a social change. Everyone needs to feel anger at some point in their lives. It is normal and natural. Except you’re not human.
But when this feeling is left unchecked, it can cause more harm than you think. It can lead to aggressive behaviors; like yelling or damaging properties or worse getting physical.
It gets even more out of hand when it is felt too often, too extreme or when expressed in unhealthy ways, which can affect your physical and mental health. That is why anger management is important and can help you find better ways to express your anger.
10 Strategies To Help You Control Your Anger/Temper
There are so many skills to help you control your anger or rather express your anger in a healthier and more productive way. Below are ten strategies to help you manage your anger.
1. Understand Your Anger
Think about the recent time when you were angry, remember what transpired at that moment, everything you expressed, how you felt. Notice the anger words you used then slow down and rewind. Acknowledge the primary emotion you felt in that moment, were you hurting, disappointed, invalidated, frustrated, or hopeless? Did you use to feel intimidated, manipulated, ignored, or rejected? Are lonely, insecure, overwhelmed? These are the questions you should ask yourself to understand why you are so angry.
You are always feeling angry, you lose your temper at the slightest thing, yet you can’t identify why. If you don’t know why you are angry in the first place you’ll keep being angry.
You are experiencing a setback in business lately, your sister then called you to ask for some money for shoes. You went outraged because you think she spends too much. But that’s not true, you are angry because you are feeling disappointed at the way your business is going.
Once you understand what triggered you to lose your temper you’ll find it easier to control how often you get angry or to whom you are angry. It will reduce the intensity of your emotion cause now you’re able to realize your sister didn’t offend you. You just have to tell her business is slow and you don’t have enough profit to spare yet but you’ll let her know when you do. It’s that simple.
Don’t blame someone else or something else for your anger.
2. Recognize The Warnings
Learn to pay attention to how you’re feeling and you’ll be better at recognizing warning signs. A lot of people think anger rises in an instance. That is wrong, you just aren’t conscious of its processes. It doesn’t happen in a heartbeat once triggered, it feels like it does but it doesn’t.
Some signs occur once start feeling worked up or infuriated. Like; your heart beats faster, your face feels hot, you clench your fist your chest tightens, or you feel your voice rising. These signs and more are likely to occur, your ability to recognize them fast will give you time to put your head together. You could take a deep breath and let it out.
Don’t allow your anger to overpower your intelligence.
3. Evaluate Your Anger
Before you enter an outburst, you should ask yourself a very important question about what you’re feeling. Is it a positive feeling or a negative feeling?
Like I mentioned earlier anger helps you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. You see something done isn’t done right, you loosen up a take a stand, not irrationally. You find yourself in an abusive relationship, you have to find confidence in that emotion and get out of there. These feelings are all positive. There are what one will call friendly forms of anger.
But when your anger causes distress, hurting your relationships, causing people to stay away from you, saying things you might regret later is a negative form of anger. It makes your mouth talk faster than your mind. Here is where you have to work on tackling your emotion and calming yourself down.
4. Step Away
Trying to win an argument or sticking it out in an unhealthy conversation or situation will only fuel your anger. One best thing to do when your anger is rising is to step out of the situation.
Press pause when the conversation gets intense and you are losing your cool. This will help you calm your nerves. If possible talk with the other person about the importance of taking a time out and resume when you are both a lot more relaxed. He should know you are not trying to run away from the discussion but just can’t have a productive conversation when you are upset. You can readdress the issue when you’re both feeling calmer.
Remember that whoever can anger you can control you.
5. Do Some Work Out
Do you know that anger gives you more energy than usual? Yeah, it does, instead of wasting it, you should put it all into good use; like engaging in physical activities. Whatever it is you have in mind; taking a walk, meditating, doing yoga, or hitting the gym. It all helps you burn off extra tension.
Regular exercise also helps you clear your mind.
6. Manage Your Thoughts
What you think influences your emotions. Angry thoughts add fuel to your anger. When you find yourself thinking about things that fuel your anger, reframe from the thoughts.
Instead, think about things that help calm you down. For instance, you’re in a traffic jam and it’s pissing you off. Think about the millions of cars on the road every day and the possibility of a traffic jam occurring.
Say to yourself, “it’s okay, I’m calm.” Keep saying it until it sticks.
7. Talk to someone
If you know someone who has a calming effect on you, someone who understands you. Expressing your feelings to such a person can be very helpful. Don’t go venting, cause it can backfire.
Talking to someone about your frustrations might be what you need to ease your mind. As long as it’s someone you trust you’ll find comfort and peace.
Understand that it is not a platform to let your anger out, or complain about the things you hate, that upsets you all the time. Doing this may fuel your anger more.
When you are going to talk to a friend, make sure you are also working on reducing your anger issues. You should be looking for a solution, not a platform to vent your anger.
8. Do Not Suppress Your Anger
Suppressing your anger is okay if you can redirect or convert it to something positive. You can learn to change your anger into something more constructive.
Well, it is also important not to keep your anger suppressed. This is where talking to someone is important. Suppressing your anger can lead to depression, anxiety, or hypertension.
The more anger you suppress your anger, the more it accumulates.
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Repressed anger becomes temporary madness. Something happens which is beyond your control. If you could have controlled it, you would have controlled it still but it was overflowing. Suddenly it was beyond you. You couldn’t do anything, you felt helpless_ and it came out. Such a person may not be angry, but he moves and lives in anger.
9. Focus On Relaxation
If you know what helps you relax, you’ll find it really useful whenever you’re feeling angry. Take some time out to do something you love, whether it’s listening to your favorite song, drawing, writing, taking a walk in the park, or reading a book. Distract yourself with anything that soothes your brain and mind.
It is nice to find that place where you can just go and relax your mind.
10. Get Help
If your anger is causing a lot of life problems and you’re struggling to tame your anger on your own but just can’t get it done. You need to get professional help cause your problem might be linked to mental health problems; like Depressive disorders.
It’s important to uncover mental health issues that can be a hindrance to learning how to manage your anger.
Only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, you will truly learn that there is always a way to solve problems without using anger and violence.
You have to make your anger so expensive that no one can afford it.