If you suspect that your friend is lying to you, it can be difficult to confront them about it without knowing the full story. However, there are some common signs that give away when your friend may be holding something back from you. Check out this guide on how to know when your friend is lying for some tips on recognizing these telltale signs.
#1 – They tell you a lot of stories about themselves
It’s a good thing to be able to trust your friend, but it can also be problematic if you don’t know how to pick up on his or her true motives. People who tell you a lot of stories about themselves may not always be trying to impress you or make themselves look good.
Sometimes, people tell many stories about their past because they want to establish a certain image of themselves. They like being portrayed in one particular way and will go out of their way to maintain that persona.
If your friend is doing this, chances are they’re lying—and more than likely they have ulterior motives as well.
#2 – They make excuses for why they can’t help you
If you ask a friend for help and they deflect, giving an excuse as to why they can’t do what you ask or making some vague reference to how busy they are, that could be a sign that your friend is afraid of being seen in a positive light.
If they seem like they just can’t be bothered, it may be because their ego won’t allow them to admit (even to themselves) that others might have more value than they do.
Regardless of their reasoning, try not to take it personally when someone avoids helping you out; sometimes people think that helping others makes them vulnerable in some way.
#3 – They change the subject when asked about what they did wrong
This is not a coincidence. When someone doesn’t want to talk about something, it’s probably because they are hiding something or lying about what happened. If you’re trying to figure out whether your friend is lying, check their body language and facial expression.
Notice if they shift away from you when you ask them a question or change their body position (moving arms or legs closer together). They might also look away from you when answering your questions, instead focusing on something else.
This can be a sign that they don’t want to talk about it and are hoping that if they ignore it long enough then maybe you’ll forget. Remember that some signs might mean nothing at all, but watch out for these signs in particular and pay attention during conversations with your friends.
#4 – They don’t listen
If you’re ever in a situation where you suspect your friend is lying to you, pay attention to their body language and eye contact. Liars often have stiff bodies and avoid looking at people directly in their eyes.
As soon as you find yourself starting a sentence with When I said… or You never…, know that things are not on the level. You might think they’re just trying to fight back by arguing with you, but it’s more than likely that they’re telling an untruth. The best way to deal with somebody who is lying to your face is by calling them out on it!
#5 – They throw You said this first…! around a lot
Friends stick up for one another, and it’s normal to get defensive when you feel your friend is being attacked. However, if they’re prone to constantly saying things like You said that first! or That was your idea! it may be a sign of an underlying problem.
This tells you that there may be a tendency for them to take credit for someone else’s work. Similarly, if they throw accusations at you without having all of their facts straight—like when someone accuses a mutual friend of lying but then turns out to have misheard—you should probably take note of it as well.
#6 – They are in love with their own voice
People who talk incessantly about themselves and how awesome they usually have a pretty inflated sense of self-worth. In fact, if you ask them to tell you all about themselves, there is almost a guarantee that they will go on for at least 20 minutes.
If you’ve known them for years and they still haven’t told you what their deal is or why they do or don’t do things, there is a good chance they never will. And while extroverts can be naturally chatty, introverted people are generally more tight-lipped.
If your friend only speaks in monosyllables but suddenly can’t stop talking when it comes to his or her own life—you might have someone who likes to exaggerate.
#7 – They interrupt people who aren’t finished talking
If your friend is in mid-sentence and doesn’t let you finish what you’re saying, be warned. Liars have a habit of cutting people off in midsentence so they can control conversations and manipulate others.
So if your friend interrupts you or continues to talk over you after you’ve already spoken, it’s safe to assume they aren’t as interested in what you have to say as they are in getting their point across. And that, friends, is something only liars do.
#8 – They talk too much and say nothing at all
This is a sure sign that something is amiss. If your friend is lying to you, they’re going to want to talk and fill up all that empty space with sound. They might also give away personal information that they normally wouldn’t – stuff like where they work or even their social security number.
While these sorts of things shouldn’t be shared with anyone except close friends and family, liars will do anything to convince you of their story. Once you can prove that your friend is lying, confront them immediately (read our guide on how to address rumours).
Explain why you suspect something fishy is going on, then take any evidence into consideration before deciding whether or not it would be appropriate for you and your friend to move forward in a relationship together.
#9 – Their motivations are always self-serving
The easiest way to tell if someone is lying is to look at their motivations. If they’re always looking out for number one, chances are they’ll never come clean about anything. As a result, you may start to see some signs that could otherwise be easily overlooked.
For example, your friend will likely blow off your invitations or end up cancelling plans last minute because something better came up or because they don’t feel good.
However, people who have nothing to hide tend not to make excuses when it comes to hanging out with friends and family members; in fact, most will make a point of prioritizing those relationships above all else.
#10 – Their stories contain elements of intrigue and suspense
If you’re reading a story where something exciting is happening and there are twists, turns, and surprises along with it – even better. People who tell complete lies tend to write stories that aren’t thrilling.
They aren’t doing anything more than telling you what happened. If your friend is telling you a complete lie, they will likely add some kind of action element or some added twist to make it much more interesting. Keep an eye out for excitement if you want to know when someone is lying to you.
Conclusion
It’s important to trust your gut. If you think your friend might be lying, then confront them with their suspicious behaviour and do so privately. Let them know that you care about them and would like to help if they’re facing any problems or challenges in their life.
But also make it clear that you can’t continue to support a friendship that is built on lies. Honesty is a virtue everyone should strive for in friendships, as well as all other relationships.
Leave a Reply