You might have always heard that you cannot do life alone or the common saying “No man is an island. That is very true. The way life is structured, you will always need someone else even for things you have to pay for.
As you might have realized already, doing life is not easy and it is definitely more difficult without friends. Friends are people you share a connection with, people you have a relationship with because you have shared goals, beliefs and convictions.
You’ve chosen to look out for each other and provide help when needed. Friendships are big. Friends bear you up and look out for you. They provide comfort when you need it and help you out when you can not do it all at once.
It’s more like having someone to watch your back and holding your hand on a journey. Of course, friends aren’t just there when you are in need, helpless or just in bad times.
They are also there in good times to love you and celebrate your wins. You will agree with me that this is something everybody should have and experience.
But in the world today, it’s becoming more difficult to have and keep friends. A lot of friendships have become transactional and unreal. People find it difficult to be vulnerable or show their weaknesses to people they call friends.
It’s now becoming a competition for who is more successful and happy. It’s therefore not surprising to see someone surrounded by a lot of people yet battling with loneliness.
Valuable, genuine and meaningful friendships are becoming scarce by the day. People are meeting people and building connections for the wrong reasons.
What they can gain, the opportunities and influence they can access, etc. While this is good, it shouldn’t be the basis for friendships except it is strictly professional and mutually agreed on.
But not everyone has wrong motives, some people are genuinely looking for meaningful friendships but due to the peculiarity of the times, it becomes a herculean task.
The world is changing and so are the people in it. If you don’t intentionally hold on to things that are important to you, you’ll lose them before realizing it. Friends and friendships are things you should guard jealously.
Here are some reasons it is difficult to maintain friendships now;
6 REASONS IT IS DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS NOW
When last did you see your friends or hear them talk physically? It is true that social media has made communication easier, it has also made connections with people difficult.
People no longer know what is happening with their friends because they rely solely on WhatsApp texts and updates to know how their friends are doing. Some barely have conversations aside from pleasantries.
They assume everything to be going on well with the pictures and videos of their friends they see. With social media, it is so easy to not realize when something is wrong because everybody is always out there and people always want to present the best side of themselves.
You can video call and keep up conversations online. It is very good and important. But it’s also important that you occasionally plan to meet up physically especially if you’re close.
Don’t assume everything is going well because of what is on social media. See and know for yourself. It goes a long way in solidifying and building your bond.
These days, we have fewer and fewer gatherings. Online events are becoming the new norm and people rarely go out as much. In cases where people have to meet, there’s little or no socialisation. Everybody minds their business.
This has led to a reduced sense of community among people and it has made making friendships difficult. People would rather sit and press their phones throughout an event than talk to anyone.
Except you already have your circle of friends, it is not easy to relate with people or even make new friends. The shared community we have is thinning out.
That is why you have to be intentional about what you want. You have to deliberately do more and reach out to people. Going out more and meeting different people apart from people in your immediate circle.
In a society where it seems like everybody is living a fake life and it has become more about packaging, building and maintaining friendships can be difficult. People don’t know what’s real and what’s fake about people and it is difficult to trust them.
Genuine friendships cannot be built on lies. That is why you see a lot of posts and comments about betrayal and backstabbing from people about their friends.
Society expects you to meet certain standards and levels before you can be regarded fit to do some things, this includes being friends with some kind of people, unfortunately. It becomes difficult to grow in a friendship when people lie to each other.
People are busy and it’s true that people will be busier. It is more difficult to reach out to friends and catch up with them as everyone is trying to do a lot at the same time.
An increase in stress level, the demand from work, deadlines and different events in between finding time to take care of one’s self and family takes a chunk of the time. If you don’t intentionally create out time, there will never always be time.
These days it’s easier to exchange numbers and stay in touch for a while. With time, the energy begins to wane off because everybody expects the other person to understand. People having busy schedules is one reason it is difficult to maintain friendships. If you’re interested in better friendships, create time for it.
Lack of vulnerability
To be vulnerable means to be more or most likely to be exposed to the chance of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
It takes a lot for someone to expose themselves to the possibility of being hurt and that’s what friendship and vulnerability are about. The things people know about you, the level to which you’re committed to them, and the proximity and power they have over you are potential causes for harm.
That is why people are careful about opening up to new people. A bond is as strong as the level to which the parties are vulnerable and real with each other. With less risk of vulnerability, we have less meaningful friendships.
The importance of communication in any kind of relationship cannot be overemphasized. People tend to do better when there is effective communication. With lesser communication, it’s expected that friendships will wane off with time.
If you’re intentional about maintaining your friendships, be intentional about keeping open communication. You’re usually closer to the people you give more information to because communication is a glue that holds people together.
The key point you should take from this is that friendship is intentional. And like lots of intentional things, it requires effort and sacrifices. Find your people, the people you’re comfortable with and if they’re people you want in your life, put in the work and keep it going. It’s important that you also know that friendship is two-sided. Don’t be the only person going all out and sacrificing. Also, don’t stay in a toxic friendship. Learn to choose yourself and what’s best for you at every point.
Thanks for reading guys. Kindly leave your comment below and don’t forget to share.