Signs An Avoidant Loves You
You’re in love, but the person you love doesn’t seem to feel the same way about you at least not in the same way that you do. You may have even met their family and friends, but there’s still something holding them back from being in a relationship with you, or they might be saying they want space or time apart and it just doesn’t make sense to you at all
A person who loves you may seem hard to find, so you might be surprised when you actually do meet someone that seems like they care. However, there are some warning signs to look out for that can help you decide if this person truly cares about you and wants to be with you or if they are just being avoidant and not taking the relationship seriously.
It’s not easy to spot the signs an avoidant loves you, especially if the person’s actions don’t appear to line up with their romantic feelings. Being aware of the signs an avoidant loves you and having them pointed out to you by someone who knows what they’re talking about will help make everything easier.
Here are 25 signs an avoidant loves you so that you can figure out whether or not this person’s behaviour matches up with what it means to love someone in a romantic relationship.
They all have the same underlying message – that person cares about you and wants to be close to you in some way, even though they may be scared of showing it or telling you about their feelings.
What Does Being An Avoidant Mean?
When someone is avoidant, they feel a deep need to protect themselves from being hurt by avoiding closeness and intimacy with others. They are usually very sensitive people and often come across as cold or aloof because of their desire to avoid getting too close to anyone.
If you love someone who is avoidant, it’s best not to push them for more intimacy than they feel comfortable with, which will only cause them to pull away further. Instead, try to be patient and wait until they are ready to open up before trying again.
It can be frustrating if your partner isn’t willing to open up when you need them most, but remember that opening up takes time even years so don’t give up on your relationship yet!
What are Avoidant Behaviours?
It’s not uncommon for people with an avoidant personality disorder to have difficulty with intimacy in their relationships. As a result, they may act in ways that are very difficult to understand.
Some of these behaviours can include: being reluctant to become involved in any serious relationship; avoiding becoming involved with someone unless he or she is certain that he or she is loved by him or her, and having trouble getting close to others even if there is evidence that he or she is loved and cared about by them.
People who struggle with an avoidant personality disorder often feel like they don’t fit in anywhere or that they aren’t good enough. They tend to have low self-esteem and often feel like they aren’t as attractive as other people. They also tend to be more critical of themselves than most other people are of them.
Do Avoidants fall in love?
A common myth about avoidants is that they can’t fall in love. However, that’s not true at all: They do fall in love. They just have a hard time admitting it. And for many of them, love is so overwhelming and terrifying, they will flee even before it has a chance to develop into a romantic relationship. So if you think your avoidant partner might be falling for you but he or she won’t admit it, there are ways you can tell and ways you can make him or her fall head over heels in love with you. Here are 25 signs your avoidant loves you!
Can Avoidants Have Relationships?
Although people with avoidant personality disorder (AvPD) may appear to be loners and unsociable, they can have close relationships and even maintain them over long periods of time. This is in large part because AvPD doesn’t interfere with their ability to function; they are able to maintain these relationships despite their fears and anxious thoughts.
However, as a relationship progresses, it will become increasingly difficult for both partners to deal with each other’s issues. When you fall in love with someone who has AvPD, it is important that you understand what he or she is going through so that you don’t feel hurt by his or her behaviour.
Do Avoidants ever commit?
This can be a hard question to answer. Sometimes, they only commit after they’ve already begun withdrawing from you. That’s why it’s so important to recognize these signs of love sooner rather than later before your avoidant disappears on you completely.
If you notice any of these signs, take heart: It means that your relationship is still salvageable and there are still ways for you to make it work. The most common sign that someone loves you is that they show up consistently in your life. An avoidant may not do this, but if he does, it’s definitely a good sign!
What kind of partner does an avoidant need?
The paradoxical answer is that an avoidant needs a very different kind of partner from a pursuer. They are most likely to fall in love with someone who is calm and steady, who loves them for their strengths but isn’t bothered by their flaws. The partner of an avoidant doesn’t have to be perfect, but they do have to be able to care for themselves and not need constant reassurance.
And if you want to make an avoidant feel loved, start by reassuring yourself that you don’t need him or her to change. Instead of focusing on what your partner should or shouldn’t be doing, focus on being grateful for what he or she does do and then let go of any expectations about what comes next.
25 Signs an Avoidant Loves You
1. An Avoidant Partner Tries To Help With More Relationship Problems
An avoidant partner tries to help with more relationship problems It’s been said that love is about giving. And if you’re in a relationship, then you’ve probably already discovered that your partner wants to give you all they can. But what if your partner isn’t always able to give? What if they have trouble opening up and sharing their feelings? This is where an avoidant personality type comes into play. While some people are born naturally sensitive and empathetic, others tend to be more reserved or guarded.
2. They want to understand what’s bothering them
One of the most telling signs that someone is in love with you is that they make a genuine effort to understand what’s going on with you. If they are truly invested in your well-being, they will do everything in their power to figure out why you’re angry or upset, and try to help you feel better. They will also be open and honest with you about how they feel, if only because it’s a good way for them to figure out what your needs might be.
3. They Initiate Spending Time With You
Not all avoidants are afraid to spend time with their partners. If your partner initiates spending time with you, they may actually care about you and not just themselves. It could also mean that they know they need to show you more attention in order to keep you around, which is never a bad thing.
4. An Avoidant Is Able To Relax Around You
When you’re dating someone who suffers from anxiety or social phobia, it can be hard to tell if they’re comfortable or anxious around you. What is the best way to figure out if they’re relaxed? Observe them when there aren’t any distractions like other people or loud music and see how much of their personality comes out when there isn’t anything else going on.
5. They Ask You To Marry Them/ Accept Your Marriage Proposal
An avoidant person may ask you to marry them or accept your proposal just so they can feel like they are getting their needs met. This isn’t a sign that they truly love you, but rather a way for them to satisfy themselves in being loved and cared for by others. They don’t want to be alone, even if it means having someone who doesn’t truly care about them.
6. They Explicitly Tell You That They Love You
In traditional relationships, it’s not uncommon to hear that someone loves you. In avoidant relationships, however, hearing I love you is rarer than winning a Powerball jackpot. This is because their actions are designed to communicate how much they care about you more so than words can do. That said, it’s clear that when your partner says I love you, they mean it with all their heart.
7. They Apologize To You When They Are Wrong
In healthy relationships, each person takes responsibility for their own actions and feels empowered to acknowledge when they make a mistake. In unhealthy relationships, one person is often treated as if they were responsible for everything that goes wrong (and might even be blamed when things go right), while their partner blames others for issues in their life. An avoidant who loves you will feel bad if they make you upset or say something hurtful and will apologize appropriately without deflecting blame onto you. They recognize that people make mistakes and that those mistakes are never anyone’s fault but their own. They don’t try to shift blame because they understand it won’t help either of them feel better about what happened.
8. They Get A Sense of Relaxation in Your Company
Because avoidants are typically introverts, they actually get a sense of ease when they’re with you especially if you don’t put any pressure on them to open up. Being around their partner will help them be more comfortable in social situations and make it easier for them to get along with everyone else.
9. They Are Jealous Of Your Friends And Family
While some people become jealous when someone new comes into their partner’s life, an avoidant person will be jealous of anyone close to you including friends and family members as they see these people as potential threats to your relationship with each other.
They want all of your attention on them and not on anyone else. If you have a friend or relative who is constantly trying to set you up with someone else or badmouthing others in order to make themselves look better in comparison, chances are it’s because they’re insecure about their relationship with you.
10. They Want To Share Their Passions With You:
When an avoidant person loves you, they will want to share all of their interests with you. However, because they are not fully invested in your relationship, they won’t share everything with you out of fear that it might scare you away. This can lead them to act one way around friends and family and another way around you. It’s important for a potential partner of an avoidant individual to be aware of these differences and learn how to respond accordingly so as not to push their partner away.
11. They bring up relationship issues in a calm manner.
An avoidant personality doesn’t express fears and concerns through anger. They try to remain as composed as possible because they’re aware of how uncomfortable they are with confrontations. If your partner never raises their voice at you or others, it means they’re trying to handle conflict in a healthy way and have probably grown up being taught these skills. This is all good news for you because it means you don’t have to be on guard all of the time for signs of anger or aggression. A person with an avoidant personality might bring up relationship issues in a calm manner, which could range from calmly stating what bothers them to subtly hinting at something by changing their mood or activity level.
12. They Appreciate Your Support
It’s possible that your avoidant loves you but just isn’t quite able to make it clear, especially if they are dealing with their own mental health. Even though they may not be as open about it, your avoidant still appreciates any support and care that you give them. While they may have a hard time outwardly expressing their feelings or getting involved in an intimate relationship, that doesn’t mean they don’t care or don’t value you. And even though they might pull away and aren’t always available, there are other ways to show them you love and appreciate them.
13. They care about your goals, dreams, and passions.
This is a great sign that your partner really cares about you. Sure, it would be great if they were personally excited about your goals and dreams, but at least they’re not jealous of them! They want to support you and make sure that you achieve your goals. For example, let’s say you want to start a business your avoidant will love seeing how excited you get talking about it and even try to help however he or she can. A little empathy goes a long way in a relationship, so if yours seems genuinely interested in what makes you happy and does its best to make those things happen, consider yourself lucky.
14. When they do something wrong, they know it right away.
This is one of those tell-tale signs that you’re dating an avoidant. If they make a mistake, they know it within minutes and are likely to go out of their way to apologize. An avoidant man will feel extremely guilty if he feels as though he has let you down in some way and will do everything in his power to make things right again. However, when something goes right for him, he’ll usually forget about it within hours at most.
15. They make effort to fulfill your needs and wishes
Avoidants are known to be independent and highly self-sufficient people, but in a relationship, they will actually make an effort to fulfill your needs and wishes. For example, if you want to go out for a special dinner, they’ll try their best to make it happen. They may not be very good at doing so, but they’ll show their love by making a conscious effort. It’s more about getting into action than feeling intense feelings of love.
16. They display nonverbal communication
Instead of verbally expressing their feelings, avoidants often show you how they feel through nonverbal communication. They might express themselves with gestures, such as by touching you or holding your hand during a date. Or they may show their affection through physical intimacy like kissing and cuddling. If your partner takes pains to maintain eye contact or smiles at you regularly (without any reason), then he or she may be trying to tell you that he or she is interested in being close to you.
17. They are ready to become vulnerable
If your avoidant opens up to you, it’s usually a sign they trust you and are comfortable being vulnerable around you. They are also allowing you to see a glimpse of themselves that they normally wouldn’t show anyone else. That definitely says something about their feelings for you! They work hard to please and protect you: When an avoidant loves someone, they want to make sure that person is taken care of, respected, and happy. It may take them some time before they come around but once there, expect them to be extremely loving and protective. They don’t feel jealous of others: If your partner never gets jealous or makes snide comments when other people speak with or even touch you, it’s another sign that he truly loves and trusts you deeply.
18. Show positive reactions to non-verbal communication.
The most important aspect of non-verbal communication is body language. If your partner shows signs that he or she loves you, he or she will let you know through little behaviours, like; touching your arm when speaking to you, leaning in when you’re telling a story (as if to show interest), or pushing his head against yours gently. These are subtle signs that we all have in relationships and they typically speak volumes of how comfortable a person is with their significant other. In addition to body language, avoidants show positive reactions to non-verbal communication by laughing at your jokes as well as mirroring your interests and life goals.
19. They encourage you to get personal space
Your partner should encourage you to get some of your own time, even if it’s just for an hour a day. They don’t want to monopolize all your time and energy; they are secure enough in their relationship with you that they know that even if they are gone, it’s not going to cause them any problems. If they’re always wanting you to spend every second together and getting frustrated when you need space, then there is a problem. In fact, one of the biggest signs someone loves you is when they want their significant other to be independent and can handle being apart from them on occasion that shows true love.
20. They make an effort to connect with you
Though they often struggle with intimacy, avoidants still want to connect with someone who can accept them for who they are. They may not feel as close to you as they could, but they’ll still try to show you their affection in ways that make sense for them. This might mean making time for one-on-one conversations or surprising you with a gift out of nowhere. If an avoidant loves you, they’ll try and make time to be close to you because that closeness is meaningful and important even if it makes them uncomfortable.
21. They make the first move in a relationship
While other people sit around waiting for signs of love, someone who is avoidant will take action. They’ll know what they want and go after it. One way they do that is by initiating contact with you or asking you out on a date (or both).
An avoidant person knows their worth and doesn’t need to wait around to be pursued; they act first to see if you’re interested. If you are nervous that they may be putting too much pressure on you to respond, just reassure them that you don’t mind making the next move.
22. They have introduced you to their friends or family member
If your avoidant can introduce you to a friend or family member, that is a significant step because they’re risking feeling vulnerable to someone else’s reactions. If your partner does introduce you to their loved ones, don’t take it for granted; tell them how grateful you are and show appreciation by making sure you have quality time with these people. The idea is to show them that they matter and mean something in your life.
23. They want to get intimate
Fear of closeness isn’t just about sex; it’s also about intimacy. If your avoidant partner is ready for more, it may be a sign they love you. People who are in love tend to get more physically affectionate toward their partner and want to be near them as much as possible.
24. They are addicted to you
As Jerry McGuire famously said, You complete me. This is especially true for someone who has an avoidant attachment style. An avoidant person feels empty inside and won’t feel whole until they’ve found their true love.
While most romantic relationships tend to fizzle out after a few months, if you start dating someone with an avoidant attachment style, you will likely be able to count on them forever. While it might not seem like a compliment to be addicted to someone else (it’s kind of scary in fact), being addicted to someone can actually be viewed as a positive sign that you’ve found your one true love.
25. They say “Yes” to marriage questions
Are you going to marry me? and Will you still love me when I look fat in a wedding dress? are two questions many insecure ask when they’re in love. This question requires very little commitment, but it is seen as a gesture of romance by avoidants, who love nothing more than hearing that their partners think they’re great. Just don’t expect marriage any time soon!
An avoidant can love you, but they can’t show it. They might say I love you and mean it, but their actions will betray them. When push comes to shove, they won’t be there for you. It doesn’t make sense, but that’s how it is with avoidants. Their behaviour isn’t logical; it just is what it is. If you want a relationship with an avoidant, prepare yourself for a long-term commitment where you may feel like your partner doesn’t care about you as much as he should but also know that if he loves you in his own way, he probably always will. As far as dealing with an avoidant goes, my best advice would be to accept him (or her) for who they are. Don’t expect them to change, or try to change them into someone else. Take advantage of those times when your avoidant does let down their guard and acts loving towards you. Try not to take things personally, especially when he pulls away from you this is his way of dealing with stress or conflict and has nothing to do with you specifically.